Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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