i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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