I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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