out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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