The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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