DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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