then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Hippo gnu deer
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
