Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
