My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Holy shit dude........stairs
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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