My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
