There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
