I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
