its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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