I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize