yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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