it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Randomize
