We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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