can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
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I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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