She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
