He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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