What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
