Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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