I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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