No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
