At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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