hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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