People in love make me want to vomit
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
