Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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