she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
