I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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