I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
