1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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