Say something about gay babies.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
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