Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
her vagine was all disorganized.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
