I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
