Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
