she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
