Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
