she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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