Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
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Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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