Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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