I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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