He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
