You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
