i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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