Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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