I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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