Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
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