If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
