He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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