Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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