You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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