Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
