I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
