Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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