Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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