fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Randomize
