Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize