my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
how does that bad decision feel?
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