Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
and she was petting her beer can
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
This is classic penis vs brain.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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