Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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