i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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