i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
