I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
