I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You need Xanax blowdarts
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
