The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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