remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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