is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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