My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
