did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
