I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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