Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
then he tried to convert me to islam
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
