Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
